I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
