You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
