I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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