I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
