Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
