Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
