seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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