We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
