3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
