I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
