question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
