honey bunches of taint.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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