She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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