I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
