Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
