All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the condom got lost in my hair
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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