Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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