u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
