dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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