The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
