It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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