She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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