check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
