All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need water and some morals
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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