My nipple is on Facebook.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
