my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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