if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize