I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
