I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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