You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize