she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
