hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
