Do you still have your period?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize