we have officially lost it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
