I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
