There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
