Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
