The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
