It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
