Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize