guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You dont lie about slip and slides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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