He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
