Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
