I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
