She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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