you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
