Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize