I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
