dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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