Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
