I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
