Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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