i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
