This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
