I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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