She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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