she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
