C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
