so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
