New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Randomize