Just cropdusted the office
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize