Tell her she can't have a vagina
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize