I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
