You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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