is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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