I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
