God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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