and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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