The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
