Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I will die if light touches me.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
