I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
