But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it glows. i had to have it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
