Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
