I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
