i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
