Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
