I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
